Alcohol with BDSM: Yay Or Nay?

For a lot of kink enthusiasts, kink playing while tipsy or high is the very opposite of safe play. According to them, intoxicated BDSM play must be avoided as a rule. It’s a big no-no or an absolute limit for them. Playing under alcohol’s influence is also considered to be irresponsible. On the other hand, others find it a way by which they can enhance their BDSM experience. They think alcohol can induce spontaneity, relaxation, and lubrication for an elevated state of mind. For such players, their limits are well defined and sturdy.

 

Alcohol with BDSM

 

Yet again, there are some who are either eager to explore alcohol’s influence on their kink-play or have already found a middle ground. However, you must know that playing under alcohol’s influence can be hyper dangerous.  Even then, you can experiment with a little alcohol in one of your sessions. 

 

But if you are just getting started or are against the idea of alcohol-dependent BDSM, just hold your judgments on a leash as of now. Tease your discomfort a little and then see what you decide to ultimately do. 

 

A Huge Disclaimer Before Getting Started

 

This post does not condone risky, intoxicated edge-play. Players are strongly advised to understand their alcohol tolerance as well as that of their partners before engaging in alcohol-based kink stuff. Intense self-awareness should be practiced at all times before and during the BDSM session. If you have just started out with BDSM, or a specific category of BDSM with your intoxicant or your partner, try with extremely low levels of the intoxicant first. 

 

You should never, at any point, misconstrue this post’s message as an encouragement to use alcohol for BDSM. You should be aware of the fact that alcohol’s influence can complicate things for both you as well as your partner. Being dulled/numbed due to alcohol might result in extreme physical injuries since your decision-making and judgment process will be impaired.

 

 TL; DR: Before trying alcohol for BDSM, just be very, very-and this cannot be stressed enough-very careful. 

 

 Now that we are aware of the consequences of alcohol mixed with kink, let us get ahead with how alcohol should and should not be mixed with kink-play. 

 

Things You Must Absolutely Know Before Starting Your Alcohol Laden Kink Session

 

Emphatically speaking just as before-Know thyself intimately enough! 

 

This means you must KNOW the following:

 

  • How your body might react to the play-type you are about to engage in
  • Your body’s reaction to the intoxicant you will be using, 
  • Understanding your emotions and mindset before the play
  • Your general feelings experienced every day
  • Likes and dislikes
  • Intoxicant and kink play limits 
  • Abilities
  • Know your partner’s likes/dislikes/abilities/limits 
  • Know your kink-play inside out. Engage play methods that both you as well as your partner are thoroughly familiar with and have preferably practiced before.
  • Know that certain intoxicants affect your body’s reactions and abilities this may include but is certainly not limited to the inability to get an erection.
  •  Difficulty/inability in reaching an orgasm.
  • Dizziness and lightheadedness
  • Mild to severe nausea
  • disassociation
  • thinned blood (proportionate to alcohol consumed)
  • Numbed/dulled stimulatory responses: you might not realize that you have had a painful physical injury until you get sober
  • Distorted perception as well as reasoning ability
  • Distorted spatial abilities

Some Do’s & Dont’s for alcohol with BDSM 

 

After taking the time to know everything related to you, your partner, both of yours intoxication tolerances and BDSM in the first place, here is a list of Do’s and Don’ts:

 

The Do’s

 

  • Do play only with partners already know and can trust.
  • Do explore your kink-play first only when you are sober and then try with low doses of intoxication
  • Do take your partner’s consent when they are fully sober and aware of your decision to go drunk.
  • Do play “lightly” at first. Try shorter, smaller, halfway intense experiments. Make it fun, silly, and happy for your first time.
  • To ensure that you have the necessary after-session safety equipment ready- paper towels, EMT containers, sharps, shears, etc.
  • Do ensure that you as well as your partner take in more non-alcoholic fluids. That’ll help prevent dehydration during your playtime.
  • Do constantly check your partner from time to time. Are they proving that they’re with you? If they’re not responding adequately, stop immediately. If they go silent after some or seem disoriented and incoherent, stop and get up. Ask if they how they are feeling wait for their response. If they don’t answer at all-plug the scene at once!
  • Do talk with your partner when both of you are sober. Consider the following questions:
  • Has either of you kink played while being intoxicated before? 
  • How was your past experience with drunken play? 
  • Have you had any experience with the planned intoxicant? 
  • What was your/your partner’s drunkenness like? Horny or angry? Crazy romantic or sad?
  • Are you in full control when you smoke? How do you feel? Dissociated or more connected? 

 

These are some important questions you must consider before you start playing drunk. Spanking someone after a few drinks only to make them angry and bitter-maybe even combative-won’t be something you’d want. Ask the stared questions above before going hanky-panky with your partner.

.

The Dont’s

 

  • Don’t play with an entirely new person when drunk. 
  • Don’t try anything new while drunk. When drunk: you ARE NOT AWARE of what you might be doing. You ARE NOT AWARE of how your partner might react. Save it advanced kink-play for more sober times. 
  • Avoid playing heavy. This means you must avoid playing complicated narratives, including heavy, emotionally cathartic scenes.
  •  Do not get involved in emotional play: this includes

humiliation, 

emotional sadomasochism

Dom-sub relationships etc.

 

 Intoxicants can severely amplify your deep-rooted negative emotions in extremely unpredictable manners.  So what may have been passable humiliation kinking might completely result in a mentally disturbing, sobbing breakdown. As mentioned before, if you or your partner have underlying mental health issues, only play sober.

 

  • Don’t try to involve extreme bondage when drunk. If you have been practicing Shibari for quite some time, maybe it is all based on muscle memory and nothing else. However, for several new entrants of Shibari, this is often not feasible. Bondage (of every kind) demands razor-sharp focus and involvement of many other factors. 

 

You may or may not realize that you or your partner is going numb. Also, when drunk, you might take time in recognizing your body parts turning blue. Besides, rapid physiological changes elicited by intoxication can induce rapid movements. 

 

If your lower body goes numb all of a sudden, but your partner is so heavily tied that they cannot move, what will you do? 

 

Cutting off all ropes with your EMT shears? 

 

Allowing them or yourself to throw up everywhere to feel better? 

 

Look frantically around for keys to undo all the straps? (This can be a lot of work considering you or your partner or both would be heavily drunk). 

 

On the other hand, you can use verbal bondage:  For example: “don’t move or else I’ll cancel the scene”. Also, try to *loosely* tie the straps around your partner’s wrists/arms and waist and then tack them to the wall. This way, even if you pass out drunk, you can move your bottom instantly while still under the illusion of “heavy” bondage. Still, you should be mindful of circulation. Steer clear of any insulting, or emotionally hurtful comments that might hurt your partner. 

 

  • Don’t use hard drugs for playing. Even if both partners are aware of their uptake of LSD/Molly/coke/, etc., you are strongly advised to avoid playing in their effect. Psychedelics induce unpredictable experiences that can change rapidly. Moreover, their effects take a lot of time to wear off. Even large doses of alcohol should be likewise avoided.

An Essential Guide To Gay Drinks: Served Muddled, Stirred, Shaken Or Neat

Recent research by a marketing firm which delves into LGBT behaviors found out that gay people, dine out more and prefer fancier meals over their straight counterparts, on average. While gay men mostly choose gin, lesbians show a remarkable preference for tequila. Meanwhile, both lesbians and gays together drink the majority of a region’s vodka supply.

 

The study was conducted by “Target 10”- a New York-based agency. Its results were based on the Experian Simmons data set after 33,000 people had been polled.  According to the study:

 

  • 75 % of gay men and lesbians had responded positively to dining outside of their homes in the last year
  • Only 60 % of straight women, as well as 50% of straight men, admitted to having dined out in the last 12 months 
  • Lesbians and gays are reported to be “risk-taking eaters”. This means that they are more prone to try new cuisines and foods in general than straight persons. This has been attributed to queer persons’ appreciation for food-preparation as an art-form.
  •  Nearly 68% of gay people reportedly enjoy dining on “foreign cuisines”, compared to 50% of lesbians and merely 40% of straight counterparts.

 

On the other hand, when it comes to drinking, lesbians and gays lead the way. This is why alcohol companies cater to their queer consumers more often than their straight consumers. Wine and vodka are preferred the most, with lesbians and gays drinking vodka two times more than straight people. Gin, while trying to find a place in the USA, is consumed by nearly 25% of gay men, while 35% of lesbians consume tequila regularly. Beer, on the other hand, is consumed by everyone. 

 

How To Make Pride Drinks 

 

Are you trying to learn how you can prepare the most preferred Pride drinks at home, with easy ingredients?

 

We will help you to know and prepare the best drinks for gay couples in this article.  We have also mentioned a brief history of queer drinks with tips and tricks on celebrating Pride. These Pride drinks can be made easily at home. These easy and quick gay drink recipes include a wide range of top-quality alcohol including artisanal cider, fine wine, spirits, and craft beer.

 

We have also featured some alcohol-free flavorful gay drinks recipes, especially for your sober queer and straight friends looking forward to celebrating Pride!

 

Gay History

 

For a very long time, the LGBT community’s members have had a preference for taking gay drinks.

 

Popular gay bars all across the world are located in gay travel destinations such as Savannah, New Orleans, Montreal, Miami, Toronto, Puerto Vallarta, Bangkok, New York City, Fort Lauderdale, Los Angeles, Bali, Hamburg, Rio de Janeiro, Chicago, Mexico City, Ibiza, Dresden,  Florida, Berlin, Cardiff  Potsdam,  Leipzig, Cologne,   Belfast Malaga, and Brighton.

 

In Toronto, Church and Wellesley Village gay bars are extremely popular among locals and visitors. The history of gay communities across the world explains why queer folks prefer to have neighborhoods of their own.

 

 

In the USA, Canada, as well as Europe, gay communities and neighborhoods were created to keep its queer inhabitants safe. Even longer before the legalization of gay marriages, LGBT community members did not even have basic rights for employment or adoption. As of today, these queer localities offer queer-centric programs, bookstores, drag bars, and parties during the Pride season.

 

New York City’s 1969 Stonewall riots should be remembered as a landmark incident in Pride history. Those demonstrations were a significant Pride turning-point when police had raided a gay bar in Greenwich Village.

The “Classic” Gay Drinks

 

Classic gay drinks often conjure unappetizing tastes for most straight people. Most gay drinks often featured at Pride events are extremely sweet, display performative vibgyor colors (which admittedly never taste awesome) or are appalling outdated like, Jello shooters. May someone never pour a glass of bottled Rev to you! 

 

Gay drinks linked with bar-visiting gay persons include:

  • Vodka Redbull 
  •  Vodka Cranberry 
  •  The Cosmo  
  • Appletini (90s favorite) 

 

Today, thankfully, there are discerning, fine cocktail-appreciating LGBT queer members who are eager to elevate the Pride gay drinking experience. Taking drinks muddled with regional or homemade spirits, bitters, freshly squeezed citrus, and syrups will surely be a life-transforming event. Now you would not need to rely on some chemically enhanced Rev anymore.

 

Gay Cocktail Essentials

 

Gay Drinks
(Tahitian tiki cocktails)

 

Cocktails such as rum and tiki are considered essentials for Pride celebrations. Often such Pride events are so hot that there is a cold tiki cocktail with crushed ice as the most refreshing drink. Tahitian Tiki is representative of Pride festivities as well because they can be decked with colorful garnishes! Everyone is provided with a tiki mug or colorful glass with individual metal straws which can be used all the time. Pride is, after all, more of a marathon! Mix some zero-proof cocktails or ABV so that you remain hydrated throughout the party hours.

Jack Rudy Tonic

 

You can even experiment via butterfly pea flowers as well as a G&T bar. Clean tonics such as Jack Rudy should be used so that the flavors of garnishes and spirits can be brought out. Use gin, vodka, or tequila, with dried and crushed butterfly pea flowers, or a brew with tea.

While serving, pour with some citrus juice or tonic for acidity, to see the blue drink turn pink! Ensure a constant supply of accessories and garnishes, like herbs, citrus wedges, oranges-preserved and freshwild edible flowers, as well as cocktail straws and picks to maintain a color palette. 

The widely used gay drink accessories include:

  •  Reusable pride plastic straws 
  • multihued glass straws
  •  decorative umbrellas 
  • cocktail floaties 
  • Mermaid Flask 
  • Pride disco ball tumbler  
  • Gourmet garnishes like Maraschino, Bourbon Cherries, Luxardo, Woodford Reserve
  •  Neon Party or Disco sign